All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
