My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
