can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
