Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
