I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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