I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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