Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
