her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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