The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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