Just fell off a train. Bad.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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