If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize