It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
