Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
