his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
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You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
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Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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