who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
