My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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