this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Too much gin, very little bucket
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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