I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
