Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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