What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
