Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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