This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
