I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
