I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
