I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha