And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?