Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
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I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
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I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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