Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.