Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
