I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
