god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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