she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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