went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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