Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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