you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
