well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
