; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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