You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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