I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
