wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I just found a bag of teeth...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
