After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
