Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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