So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
this hospital has no fireball
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
