He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
