Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
how can u be prego again
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
