dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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