I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
It's like God shit irony all over that family
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
