I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
