I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
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