Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You need a sexual gate keeper
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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