Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
