Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
