Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
