Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
