so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
