We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
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so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
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You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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