Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
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Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
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A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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