craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
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I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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