i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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