i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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