I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize