her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
