you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
