I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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