I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
