but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
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Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
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That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
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