I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
