Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
